L.O.V.E. 101

ok... truth be said, i'm getting bored of writing n talking all about this shitty kind of love.
but, i just can't help myself. (it hurts worst than slapping!)...


so, here's my version of 1o1...


1) love is poison. once its in ur blood, it'll be all over ur body n kill u.


2) the heart is a soft, supple muscle (as science shows!). to keep it pumping, fill it with gallons of love.


3) never wear the heart on the sleeve. they will rip ur shirt out.


4) if u cry, ur eyes hurt. if u dont cry, ur heart hurt.


5) first love = first fuckup. (or major happiness if ur lucky)


6) no, i'm not bitter. just my insides hurt too much that i want to scream.


7) who said we're emotionless? we're just not good in showing our love.


8) when i say i like u, i lied. when i say i hate you, i could cut my tongue for lying.


9) love is like bottle of cognac; it burns a path right down to your heart.


last but not least... I LOVE YOU!!!

just thought you should know before i go.

kelly clarkson....

since when am i a fan of kelly clarkson????.... IDK.
but, i really like this song of hers....
it goes something like this......

remember all the things we wanted
now all our memories, they're haunted
we were always meant to say goodbye

even with our fists held high
it never would've worked our right
we were never meant for do or die

i didn't want us to burn out,
i didn't come here to hurt you, now i can't stop

looking at you makes it harder,
but, i know that you'll find another
that doesn't always make you want to cry

started with a perfect kiss
then we could feel the poison set in
perfect couldn't keep this love alive
you know that i love you so,
i love you enough to let you go

i want you to know it doesn't matter
where we take this road, someone's gotta go
and i want you to know,
you couldn't have loved me better
but, i want you to move on so i'm already gone....

am i yours?

help, help///

D checked up on me.

Breathe, Colette, breathe.

he's not gonna be back with you. it's just a friendly gesture.

Inhale, exhale. good... get a grip. or u want ur bestie to bitchslap u again???

Breathing.... ok. face it; its over. 5 years ago.

tiny heart...

Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself
When will you open up for me?
I love you so, wanna meet you again
Before one of us must go.

Your lips touched every hand but mine
In the shadows you slept fine
When will you get back to me so we can rest?

Tiny heart, you're not by yourself
When will you recognize the beat?
Of my own heart, making your blood flow
So that your chest can rise and fall.

Your lips touched every hand but mine
In the shadows you slept fine.
When will you get back to me so we can rest?

You will never know what you have done to me
You will never know losing your love for me
You will never know a single day alone.

Tiny heart, stuck inside yourself
When will you open up?

Your lips touched every hand but mine
In the shadows you slept fine
When will you get back to me so we can rest?

When you choose me, I'm waiting for you.
Always waiting.

monday blues...

i'm still feeling the aftermath of last week's party... *groans*

that friday night, i got a case of sore throat... but for my friends, i chose to ignore it and went and partied with them...

PADAN MUKA!

saturday, i immediately got a fever and sore throat. i slept the whole day, and woke up on sunday with my right eye aching and throbbing... [bummer]

now, slightly better. but, still kinda warm. hopefully will get better soon....

to u cosmetic users!!!

elianto eyeshadow have great texture. it was smooth and glides on easily to the skin. but, unfortunately, it crumbles just as easily.

i bought two types of elianto eyeshadow. one is glitter glam in midnight blue. the other is color perfection. color perfection is a trio of colors; mine was white, green and black. (i stress on the word "WAS" because i placed my handbag on the car floor a little to harshly and the eyeshadow just crumbles.) --> maybe i was a bit too hard, hehehe...

the liner was great. love the inky-ness of it.

mac's liner, not so. it smudges. pity, for something so expensive. the glitter powder was absolute F.A.B...

lets see.... comparing ZA mascara and maybelline, my pick is ZA. i love what it did to my lashes!!.. they were thicker and curvier... hehehe... maybelline, even after so many coatings, still doesnt give that thickness consistency to your lashes...

and, in2it shadows are great... they dont crumble. but, the textures are a bit too hard for my liking.. they dont go on so easily.

paramore!!!

there's a piano version of decode.

shit la!.... so nice...
hahahahahaha!!


i LAFF decode!!!!

twisted???... nope. retarttet pretty much.

i have this friend who is a friend of another friend. lets call the person involved as A. well, i kinda know A in way because A is involved with the church. i saw A teaching the kids Sunday class, and i kinda respected A for that.

because, although i go to church, i'm not very involved with it because i know that i am not prepared. i want to go to church with an open heart and mind. then, you can really receive the Spirit. well, that is my thought anyway.

ok, back to the story. one day, we were going to our spot. and, i saw A clubbing. i was like, fuck!!

its weird. here was this pious person. when night falls, everything comes out. no offense, but that just doesnt sound right.

heck, i'm no saint myself. but, i still know that it doesnt feel right to do that. pretty twisted if u ask me. hypocritical? hell, yeah. its like here you are worshipping God, the big Boss upstairs. but, when night falls, everything comes off and there you are clubbing, drinking away.

tell me, if this sounds right to you.

kebodohan sejati!!

i was out with friends.. and something happened last nite... the initial intention : partayyyy!!...

guess who i bumped into??? N* and D*... i can still handle N but D, i'm not so sure... what made it so difficult?... both guys were my ex... and i was in love with D from before... but that story was 5 years ago...

its strange that 5 years from then, he can still make me feel the strangest things... that is so not exactly my finest hour... he was my love after all, he wsa my D... i've known him for almost 14 years... how would you feel when suddenly out of the blue, you meet a former love? for years... i've been dreaming to have his hand holding mine... for years, i had been wanting to feel him beside me... i got my wish 5 years late when i danced with him, but it wasnt what i expected... it wasnt in a way i've always wanted it to be...

both guys were in the same place with me. N was right in front of me and when i turn around, i see D... when i look at N, a part of me hurt... i saw hate in his eyes but i know he's lying; he still cared... sometimes, i feel like i just want to rush to his arms and comfort him... i hate to see him like that...

when i look at D, my heart broke... what little strength i have just disappears and i cried... when i first realized it was D, my body turned cold and i started to tremble... that was so strange.

when i broke up, it doesnt mean i stopped loving and caring... it just means that i cant have this relationship with that person... and it hurts me as well to do that... once i love, its real and it lasted... D will always be the first guy i ever loved. for now, i dont know if i can ever love anybody after this...

breaking up with N is a good thing... they say he's a bad boy, but i can see he's just a lonely one... but, a part of me hurt when i had to let him go... leaving D was the worst. it felt like i lost a bit of my life...

M.O.N.O.T.O.N.E.

i think i need variety.

seriously.

i'm getting bored.